It’s really tough on the ego to put your ideas out into the world and have them shot down, dismissed, not taken forward or stolen and used by someone else especially if you are really attached to them.
If you can take a breath or 10 and reflect on perhaps a new space for that same idea/ set of ideas you’re winning and your vulnerability hangover won’t last half as long.
As it happens… I’ve had a fair few knock backs (two big ones this year) and chatting with my friend Yvette about one we’ve both encountered recently I realised I’ve learnt some tips along the way to actually use the space of vulnerability (thanks Brene Brown) to my advantage and I wanted to share those with you in this short post…
Create from your Vulnerability…
- Honour the feelings – if you feel sick to the pit of your stomach and all of the dread and comparison feelings crushing you like a tonne weight – good – we are human – it’s fine to feel sad and disappointed if something didn’t pan out. Honour the feelings but don’t indulge them. Put simply, sit still but don’t mope. Well maybe you could mope a bit… take an hour, an evening, a day but call time on it once you’ve worked it through. To speed up this process a good reset button is exercise – a run or a swim, some yoga poses – perfect!
- Phone a friend – if you have a tendency to be down on yourself phone a friend – they are your biggest cheerleader and you will shine with a burst of positivity from someone who knows you well. Also PLEASE watch Brene Brown’s ted talk – it’s life changing!
- Reflect – could you use the idea somewhere else, reshape it, grow it, keep it up your sleeve, don’t be tempted to throw it away – yes it wasn’t the right fit here but it could be the one that’s someone else’s diamond. How many publishers did JK Rowling and David Almond pester before they got published? ALOT!
- Create – now here’s where the magic happens. Creativity breeds creativity so get on and create something else – a meal from scratch and enjoy it, knit a scarf and wear it, write a short blog post and get it out in the world (here’s mine), maybe even learn origami from a youtube tutorial – create something and see it through to the end on your terms. Enjoy the process and that of sharing it too. You’ll bounce back in no time!
Let me know what you think and what your own vulnerability hangover cures are?
I’m over on instagram tagging the sparkles if you want to chat,